The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings enormous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be good too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are drawn in to exceptionally hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful sensations of destination, excitement, wellness, love, and closeness .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically web link justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that much of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in cosmopolitan locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I presume this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is necessary for this page a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, worths, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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