The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, making love carries tremendous significance and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are attracted to extremely hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to powerful feelings of destination, enjoyment, well-being, closeness, and love .

However when issues emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely would not admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay why not check here males, says that a lot of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sex. If a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable, lots of gay men want to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that browse around this site we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on see it here your vision, goals, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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